Sweet Jesus!

I am now going to provide you all with a brief excerpt from a band bio I received with a CD I'm reviewing for SEE. I'm not going to say anything more; just read and try not to tear out your eyes.

Word for word:

"There's some confusion over how The Rakes actually came to being. Ask them and they'll talk of a show of solidarity outside a local Weatherspoons, or of fights in the library over who was going to borrow some novel or other. Whatever, it's unlikely that the story will ever become clear. What is becoming clear, however, is the fact that The Rakes are emerging as one of the most significant London bands to emerge in recent years."

BLOODY HELL! This is supposed to be A PROFESSIONAL BIOGRAPHY! OMG! WTF! I mean, who do they think reads this? Obviously not journalists WHO MAKE JOKES ABOUT COMMA SPLICES AND DANGLING MODIFIERS. And believe it or not, this paragraph is only one out of five. I'm not going to bother relating the rest, mostly because it hurts me terribly. In fact, this bio is EMERGING as one of the most retarded things to ever EMERGE before my eyes. HA! HA HA! HAHAHAHA! Ha. Oh.

PS - Here's a picture of the poor souls. I feel embarrassed for their publicist.